


only love could ever hit this hard

by sushishorts



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: F/M, and syaoran remembers, in which syaoran forgets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 18:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14478585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushishorts/pseuds/sushishorts
Summary: He was the kind who had wards up to keep his apartment safe, especially since she would always drop by and keep him company. She had very powerful magic, and power attracts power.Something was off.He kept on trying to remember her name, or her face, but all he can remember were her gentle hands and her sweet smile.





	only love could ever hit this hard

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "do you remember" by jarryd james, which is not related to this fic but listened to anyway
> 
> ive been having this lingering thought about syaoran forgetting about sakura, and it hurt me so much i wrote it
> 
> bc im an asshole
> 
> and i dont deserve nice things
> 
> unbeta-ed as frick again, i am gomen it's like 1 in the morning i should sleep

\--

 

Something was... off.   
  
Instinctively, Syaoran had to roam around the house to track the magic that was throwing him off. It plagued him like a looming migraine, creeping into his spine and causing over-all discomfort. He knew he wasn’t getting sick, of course; he was taught how to track spells and curses as early as 5 years old, but it was odd for him to be so careless and get caught into one, in the first place. 

He was the kind who had wards up to keep his apartment safe, especially since she would always drop by and keep him company. She had very powerful magic, and power attracts power.

_ Something was off. _

He kept on trying to remember her name, or her face, but all he can remember were her gentle hands and her sweet smile.

He didn't know why.   
  
Still, he shook it off and searched, knowing that there was something that made him so uneasy. Other than not remembering about that person, there was still that lingering magic in the air, so he opened every room in the house and sensed it out. When he knew he was going to be late, he shrugged it off in defeat and decided to forego breakfast, settling for a milk tetra pack from the fridge.   
  
The road was lined with sakura petals. The trees were in full bloom.   
  
He spent a little too long staring at them as he walked to school, and almost didn't make it to first period.   
  


 

 

  
When he arrived, Kinomoto was the first one to greet him in a hushed whisper. He was surprised that she did, so he greeted her back. There was something wrong with her smile.   
  
She sat directly in front of him, so he was forced to watch her even though he had to focus on everything else.   
  
There was something in the way she moved; like it was familiar for him to do this, to watch her every movement. She would sometimes look back and smile at him fondly, and it almost seemed like she did that a lot. Were they good friends? He can't seem to remember.   
  
At least he could admit that Kinomoto was beautiful; he was human, after all.   
  


 

 

  
By lunchtime he was already panicking, because due to his search at home, he forgot to pack his lunch.   
  
Before he could walk off to wherever the cafeteria was, however, Mihara tapped his shoulder and asked where he was going.   
  
"The cafeteria?" Syaoran tried, and Mihara giggled, tugging her braids into place. It was P.E. before lunch, and they had to change back to their uniforms. Kinomoto stood from afar, cautiously watching. She started walking towards them. "I forgot my lunch."   
  
"You're funny, Li-kun," The lady said with a bright smile. "Sakura-chan has your lunch, now come on! We don't want to keep them waiting!"   
  
"Why would Kinomoto have my lunch?" Syaoran looked puzzled. Mihara’s smile dropped at an instant.   
  
"Oh _no_ , are you guys fighting? I've never heard that from you in the longest time. Oh no," she panicked. "I shouldn't have butted in!"   
  
"I don't understand, why would we fight?" Besides, why would she care if they fought? It’s not like they were good friends in the first place.

There was a sudden twist in his stomach, and his chest ached.   
  
"Li-kun, this is cruel, even for you. She's your--"   
  
"Chiharu-chan!"   
  
Kinomoto came running to them, looking frazzled. Mihara took alternate turns on looking at them, eventually nodding and leaving them be.   
  
"Let's go meet with the others?" Kinomoto then asked with a bright smile, and Syaoran nodded, due to the lack of anything else to say.    
  


 

  
  
Kinomoto did have an extra bento.   
  
"Ah, it was actually for onii-chan, but he forgot, and I didn't want it to go to waste, so um!" She explained, and everyone was looking at them like they didn't understand the situation. "I thought I could share with everyone, but if you don't have your lunch, you can have it!"   
  
He took it shyly, not knowing how to pay her back. Maybe he could bring so peach buns? "If you're sure, then thank you."   
  
She looked relieved, somehow.   
  
The rest of lunch went off without a hitch. He didn't know Kinomoto was a great cook, but there he was, savoring each bite.   
  
When lunch ended, he told Kinomoto, "You cooked that tamagoyaki perfectly. Thank you for the lunch."   
  
She looked like she was about to cry, but smiled nonetheless. "I'm so glad."   
  


 

 

He was in charge of bringing back the tools for the teacher that day, and Kinomoto was apparently his partner.

He let her carry the lighter box, of course, and he carried the rest without any problem. She insisted that he could give her a bit more to carry, but he was comfortable with the weight. Also, he didn’t want her to fall down or anything.

“I may not seem much, but I am athletic,” Kinomoto said with a proud smile, showing off her guns. Not much he could see with the winter uniform, but he believed her, nonetheless.

“Don’t be silly, of course I know that. We’ve been classmates since elementary.”

Wait.

They were?

A sudden pain made itself known in his head, and he almost dropped all the supplies. Kinomoto immediately put down hers and came to his aid, and he thought it was crazy that everything she did felt so natural, like she had been doing it so often, and all this time.

“Syao--” She stopped himself. “L-Li-kun, are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere? Let’s put this down, I can accompany you to the nurse if you need to rest--”

“Kinomoto,” He said, and her face drained of color. He closed his eyes. “It’s fine; thank you.” He opened them, and she was still standing so close with that worried expression. _ It hurt, seeing her like this, _ he thought.  _ I need to do something. _ “Are you okay?”

She looked surprised. “Eh?”

“You wear your worries on your face,” He said. “If there’s anything bothering you, don’t be afraid to tell me.”

Ah. She looked like she needed a long cry. It seemed like he made matters worse. She dusted herself off and picked up the box, walking ahead a few steps to the supply room.

They walked together in silence. It felt a little unbearable, and Syaoran wanted to scream.

 

 

  
  
He fell asleep during Math class. There, he dreamt of a lovely smile and a soft embrace.

She ran to him when he came back. He was away for far too long. He had to go back to Hong Kong, because he wasn’t strong enough to protect her. There were many elders who tried to keep him from coming back to Japan, to  _ her _ , but his mother…

She let him go. 

A voice rang out amidst the chaos of dismissal; it was the last period, after all.   
  
" _ Syaoran-ku-- _ "   
  
He opened his eyes in shock and sat up straight, not really believing what he heard. Standing beside his deck was Kinomoto, crouched down like she was in the middle of waking him up, but was too surprised to continue.   
  
"Ah! I meant--"

She slipped up before. She let herself call him “Syaoran-kun” like she had the right. And maybe she did. It frustrated Syaoran that he couldn’t seem to remember.   
  
"What's going on?" He finally decided to ask. Kinomoto only looked at him in deep worry. Daidouji had a very similar expression on her face.    
  
One thing was for certain: he knew he was forgetting something. It pained him that he might know what it was, exactly.   
  
Kinomoto frowned. That didn't suit her. She's been wearing a pained expression the whole day, and it bothered him that he didn't have the right to ask about it. Or at least he thought so.   
  
There was a sharp pain in his head that made him flinch. A memory of a pink bear with wings came rushing, and he could remember its soft, velvety paws. Someone was lifting it up as the bus waited for the departure time.  _ You’re my number one _ , she said.  _ I finally figured it out _ .

The pain crept to his chest. Everything hurt.   
  
"Sakura-chan, it's almost time," Daidouji said softly, pointing at the clock. "Li-kun, it's best if you came with us."   
  


 

  
  
The Penguin Park had always looked so orange during sunset, and Syaoran wondered why it was so memorable to him, in the first place.   
  
He followed the two ladies without much comment, hoping it would help make sense of the situation. The day had been a whirlwind of emotions, and it was mostly caused by sudden memories that plagued him. 

Of a girl, a smile, a bear, and a feeling. He still couldn’t pinpoint where the spell was. Kinomoto released her staff in the middle of the park.

“Hey, is this a good place to release your staff? It’s the middle of the afternoon!” He said, looking around.

“No one will come until this is over,” She said with steel in her voice. But she smiled at the end, reaching out for his hand. “Do you trust me?” He took her hand. She stepped into his personal space, but he didn’t mind. She smelled vaguely of sweet cookies and cake rolls; they had home-ec that day.

“What happened?” Syaoran asked.

“Someone tried to cast a spell, and we didn’t know what it could do exactly, but you ran…”

Tears fell. He was surprised how angry he was getting, just with the sight of her crying.

“You ran and it hit you instead.”

Syaoran gritted his teeth. Mindlessly, he cupped her cheek gently, asking, “Did they hurt you?”

She looked up through the tears. She laughed weakly. “And somehow, you fought the spell all throughout the day. Eriol-kun said you might; you weren’t a descendant of Clow for nothing, after all.”

He didn’t want to know if his hunch was right, but he needed to understand. He needed to remember. “What was the spell?” 

“It was a spell that made you forget about your most important feeling,” She explained with a sob. He wanted to end anyone who did this. “It lasts for a day, but it was far too long--”

It made sense now. Heavens, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

He pulled her in an embrace and breathed in, and everything felt infinitely better. This feels right, he thought.  _This feels like home_. “I knew it,” he gasped out, feeling too overwhelmed to think about anything else. “You were creeping into every crevice of my memories and you--”

“Sakura-chan, the time!”

She lightly tapped her staff on his head. There was a sudden glow, and everything came rushing back.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Syaoran,” Sakura called out, but her voice sounded like it was miles away. “Breathe with me. Big gulps.”

He tried focusing on her heartbeat and her own breathing, and he tried following suit, letting her deep breaths guide his own. He couldn’t let her go. He didn’t think it was physically possible.

The park turned from a warm orange to a pastel pink.

“Sakura,” he started when he didn’t feel so numb anymore. “Who did this?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Sakura, I won’t ask again.”

“Syaoran,” Sakura mumbled. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“The hell it doesn’t--”

When he let her go to look at her, Sakura was still crying.  _ Oh no _ . “You kept calling me Kinomoto.”

“I know,” Syaoran mumbled.

“And you forgot I bring your lunch every day since high school started.”

“I know.”

“And--”

“Sakura,” Syaoran reached for his handkerchief. The guilt was settling in; there was no way she wouldn’t leave him after this. He was weak, far too weak and he let himself be swept in a spell that hurt her the most. “I don’t know how to fix this. I should be stronger than this.”

“But you remembered bits and pieces and I knew you were still fighting,” She took the handkerchief. She pressed her forehead against his and breathed in. “Oh, my little wolf, nothing is broken.” She smiled so sweetly, it broke his heart again. “I will always love you, even if you forget about me.”

He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. This is something he would never forget; the way her lips were soft and warm and fit against his perfectly, like he was made for her. He could never have met anyone else who would make him the happiest and break his heart at the same time. In any lifetime, he would search the whole world for her, and he would fall in love all over again. He would leave everything behind, and with her smile, he could find peace.

“And I will always fall in love with you, no matter how many times I forget.”

She suddenly turned red as a beet. “You kissed me.”

He can’t bring himself to be embarrassed now. He laughed. “Sakura, it was time.”

“But it was our first kiss!”

“Sakura, we’ve been together for almost five years.”

“B-but!” She pointed at Tomoyo, who was apparently filming the entire time. “Tomoyo-chan saw!”

“Well, if Li-kun was gonna forget about it again, at least we can all watch it for him to remember!” Tomoyo giggled. “Don’t worry, I’ll edit the BGM in. What song would you like me to use?”

Syaoran could only laugh at the silliness of it all. Leave it to Tomoyo to know that they were gonna figure everything out without a problem.

“Daidouji,” He called out. “I’m hiring you for our wedding. Name your price.”

“Syaoran-kun!” Sakura blushed madly as Tomoyo rattled on about the pre-nup shoot. He pulled her a little closer, and smiled. He didn’t hear a “no” from her, so he considered that a win.

 

 

When they walked hand in hand to the classroom the next day, Chiharu breathed out a sigh of relief, saying, “If you guys break up, I won’t believe in love anymore,” before proceeding to do her classroom chores.

 

 

  
\--


End file.
